Pitch black,
careening down
a track
in vain
before a dark
freight train
blasts past.
Underneath, peace
at last.
Ryan Stone
too much coffee, too little sleep, a love of words…
Pitch black,
careening down
a track
in vain
before a dark
freight train
blasts past.
Underneath, peace
at last.
Ryan Stone
I have missed your posts for the past couple of days. This is excellent. I love the fact that the three verses have the rythmn of a train and then, whack, the life is snuffed out. It is very powerful. I love it.
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It’s so nice to be missed, thank you. Unfortunately my brilliant poetry doesn’t pay enough to support my lifestyle…and employment intrudes on my writing time all too often ๐
I’m glad you picked up on the train’s rhythm, I was hoping that would come across. Thank you for your lovely feedback, Lexa ๐
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I agree on all counts. Very intense poem
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This hits home for me as I had a cousin, who at thirty, found his tracks in the bottom of a pill bottle. Depression can be all-consuming, often tying us to the proverbial tracks.If we are lucky, we get to hit that switch, and send the train veering into another direction while we untie those ropes that bind us. I can feel the heaviness in this piece. You describe depression so well, my friend.
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Thank you, my friend – I’ve danced with her from time to time, often enough to know her moves.
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You are welcome, my friend, and you are not alone.
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She’s a sly one ain’t she?! Brilliant vecino.
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Whoa! Powerful stuff right there! I’ve been in a deep depression before. Peace at last… That’s all you crave… Peace at last! Brilliant!
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Thank you, my friend. Lovely feedback ๐
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Powerful words, yet again. Sadly
I can relate.
Great writing, my friend!
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Hopefully not lately…
Thank you, Amanda ๐
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Oh wow. ๐
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Oh thanks ๐
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Of course.
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Very familiar sentiments, you express them elegantly and forcefully.
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Thank you ๐
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Now this is my kind of poem! And is that a photo you took?? ๐ ๐ ๐
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Thanks, Al. Gotta love the darkness. Yes, my own brilliant photography…using my iPhone ๐
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Been there. And there’s that form again. You know, I have written one to this form. I still need to post it though. Haha.
๐
Lovely job. ๐
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Thank you so much. Make sure you post it ๐
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Will do.
๐
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Oh, how I love this one!
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Thank you so much ๐
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Beautiful writing as alwaysโก
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Thank you ๐
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Ryan, it is my pleasure in reading your beautiful words describing complex emotions so perfectly
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I really appreciate your kind thoughts, Candice. Thank you so much ๐
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You are very welcome I feel fortunate to read you.
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What a perfect analogy. I can hear the rickety clack of the train and the feeling it leaves in the body even after you’ve already been walking on firm and unshaking ground for quite some time. I have been born with too much happy hormones, so I have not experienced depression, but I have had people around me that have been through the dark tunnels while riding it. I hope you are still writing this from a happy place and full of light ๐
(((U)))
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Dark, sad, and so intense. Totally moving.
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Youโre very kind, Asha. Thank you
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Running off the rails is a rocky trail … ๐ค
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The rockiest of rockies
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I am a rock, I am an island
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Wow, dark and powerful. Your words are beautiful, Ryan
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Hello, dear CC. Thank you so much
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You’re welcome, dear Ryan.
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Well-said, well-written. And those are narrow gauge train tracks—where are THEY from? ๐
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Hi, Jonathan. Thanks so much ๐ And you know your trains, too. I took this photo a few years ago at Caribbean Gardens in Scoresby (Melbourne, Australia). They had an amazing scenic railway but it has since been removed, I believe. Sad. https://caribbeangardens.com.au
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Well trains are economic things and if they can’t pay the rent….poof!
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dark and sad
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Night is not always dark …
Tunnel grows wider
Walking out of the darkness
The light glows brighter
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careening is a word i have never heard before. i quite enjoy learning new words especially as a writer. this poem feels light and simple but is beautifully written.
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Thank you ๐
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