



Loss recalibrates what matters. If something’s on your heart tonight, let it out.
too much coffee, too little sleep, a love of words…











I wasn’t made
for straight roads.
My bones remember
bare earth,
the breath before
the leap.
We walk stiff now—
feet wrapped in slaughter
and stolen skin.
Even the ground
pulls away.
But some nights
when the house forgets
to hum,
I move softer—
past walls,
past memory,
into a place
where trees
still whisper.
And for a moment,
I sense them—
my fur and blood,
the wild hunt.
In the back of my throat
a howl rises.
Ryan Stone

You never made it out of the early days.
I see your face sometimes in the mirror—same jaw,
but your eyes aren’t tired yet.
You had plans.
Straight lines and clean hands.
You really thought grit alone would get you through.
I admire that.
Even now.
There were forks you didn’t see,
roads I walked instead.
Some of them cost more than they were worth.
Others saved me
by breaking me first.
I held your name like a knife for a while.
Cut a few people.
Cut myself more.
There was a woman you would’ve loved
and left.
I stayed.
She left anyway.
That one still stings.
There’s a boy now
who calls me Dad.
He wouldn’t know you,
but I think you’d like him.
He’s gentler than we ever were
and stronger for it.
You’d hate how slow I’ve gotten.
How quiet.
How long I sit before answering.
But I’m still here.
Wiser, maybe.
Definitely more scarred.
Sometimes I wonder what you’d think of me.
Not sure you’d be proud,
but I think you’d understand.
You burned bright.
I burn low,
but steady.
You chased light.
I learned to live in shadow.

The sky doesn’t hum like it used to.
We traded songs
for signal towers
and forgot the sound
of wings over wheat.
Benches sit empty
in parks built for someone else’s childhood.
Swings move only with the wind now,
no laughter to push them.
We speak in pings
and half-hearted hearts,
thumb-pressed love
and silence that scrolls on
longer than grief.
We taught our children
to fear the quiet
but not to cherish it.
We gave them passwords
instead of prayers.
And still,
the earth waits.
Somewhere,
a fox curls beneath a rusted fence,
a girl cups a candle like a secret,
and the wind remembers
how to sing.
Ryan Stone

(His Voice — Then)
We climbed past where the trees give up,
boots sinking through hush and drift,
wind at our backs like a warning
we chose not to hear.
The red shack waited—
tilted, rust-kissed,
half-swallowed by snow.
Inside,
a match struck light against the cold.
One flame,
then another,
until the dark softened
just enough to hold us.
There was one chair.
Two blankets.
The kind of quiet
that lets you hear
your own name
in someone else’s breathing.
We didn’t talk about what waited below.
Not your return flight,
not the half-packed bag,
not the years of almost.
You laughed at the frost
collecting in your lashes.
I didn’t say
how long I’d been watching
that storm coming.
Your knee brushed mine
beneath the blanket.
You didn’t move.
Neither did I.
The silence turned warm
around us.
Outside,
snow piled up against the door—
a kind of mercy.
Inside,
your hand rested near enough
that I could’ve reached it
without asking.
And didn’t.
You slept.
Or pretended to.
And I watched the window
turn from black
to the soft grey
of not yet morning.
Later,
we climbed down
without speaking of it.
The wind had died,
but something else
was already drifting.
Now,
sometimes,
when I smell woodsmoke
or hear the hush of snow
against tin,
I think of that night.
Not with regret.
Not exactly.
Just the ache
of something so nearly true,
it still breathes somewhere
in the white.
⸻
(Her Voice — Then and Now)
We climbed higher than we should have,
past the line where trees
stop pretending to survive.
You didn’t complain once—
just kept pace,
like you’d follow me anywhere.
Maybe that was part of the problem.
The red shack was smaller
than I remembered from the map.
Leaned east,
like it had been bracing against wind
for decades.
Inside,
your hands shook lighting the match.
Not from cold.
I said nothing.
You handed me the flame
like a question.
There was one chair.
Two blankets.
No space for lies.
I pulled the blanket over both of us.
You didn’t move away.
The silence felt
like something we’d been circling
for years.
We didn’t speak
of the train waiting in the valley,
or the person I said I’d marry.
Not of the night you left my flat
before I woke,
not of the letter I never wrote.
Your shoulder touched mine.
Just that.
But it lingered.
I didn’t sleep.
Faked it
because I couldn’t bear the weight
of your eyes on my back,
not if they were saying what
I think they were.
In the morning,
you brewed coffee so quietly
it hurt.
I thanked you.
Too softly,
but you heard.
And we walked down
like the snow hadn’t buried something
between us.
Even now,
when winter presses its fingers
against my windows,
I go quiet.
I remember the warmth
we almost let happen,
the way you never reached for me—
and how I never asked you to.
And I wonder
if love is just
the sum of all the silences
we never dared to break.
⸻
(His Voice — Years Later)
You never looked back—
not once—
as we left the shack behind.
But I remember
how your hand brushed mine
that night,
how you didn’t pull away.
And how I didn’t take it.
We both left something
in that red-walled hush.
Not a kiss,
not a promise—
just the warmth
that might have followed.
You were always better
at staying silent.
I was always better
at pretending not to notice
what silence could mean.
There was a moment—
when you shifted in the dark
and the blanket slipped
just enough—
I saw the skin of your back,
pale in the lantern glow,
and I thought
if I speak now,
if I say it—
but I didn’t.
You were leaving.
And I was too late.
Now, sometimes,
I find frost on my window
and think of your breath
fogging the glass
above the sink.
The way we made coffee
like it was something sacred.
The way we left
without needing to say
we’d come closer
than we ever would again.
I don’t regret not touching you.
But I do miss
the man I might’ve become
if I had.
And I hope—
in some quiet room of your life—
you still carry
a small warmth
from that night.
Ryan Stone
