Unburied Hatchet

Until I saw those wasted hands,
brittle as chalk, I hadn’t thought
how fast the years make ghosts.

I heard them once called brawler’s paws.
For me, they were always more:
cobras, poised to strike.

But his brawling days are gone now;
I could kill him with a pillow,
if I cared enough to try.

Thin sheets press tightly to a bed
more empty than full, his body broken
like the promises of childhood.

Haunted eyes betray last thoughts
of a dim path, spiralling down.
He hopes to make amends.

“Forgiven?” he croaks,
barely there, as always,
and I’m wishing that I wasn’t.

With the last rays of day as witness,
I turn my back with purpose
and hear the silence roar.

In a late-night bar I catch my reflection
swimming in a glass of bourbon;
but I’m staring at a ghost.

Ryan Stone

Click here for audio

First published in Writers’ Forum Magazine issue 163, April 2015 – first place


Comments

156 responses to “Unburied Hatchet”

  1. Oh my, this is utterly haunting and profound. It certainly hit home with me. Wow…

    Liked by 9 people

    1. Thank you so much, Georgette. The personal ones can be tricky ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Indeed they can; again, so glad I came across your writing. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank you – the feeling is mutual ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! So good, Ryan.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Hi, Sarah! Thank you very much ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  3. Congratulations on first prize, a very deserved winner. Superb poem.

    Liked by 8 people

    1. Thanks so much, Shirley – it was a nice surprise ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  4. Wow, this is amazing! I love both the poem and the creative painting! Tip my lady hat for you, Ryan! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 8 people

    1. You’re too kind, Heather. Thank you again, your comments always make me smile ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Well deserved as this poem is very haunting… Is this another side of you?

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Many layers, like an onion ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Thanks so much, Joci – I’m still smiling.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. leslieanneonus Avatar
    leslieanneonus

    Congratulations, R! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Thank you, L ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Like

    2. scotthastiepoet Avatar
      scotthastiepoet

      So sorry Ryan, unexpected visitors last night have made me rather late in responding to your piece. Yes Ryan… We’ve all been there – richly told and caught me, as it should…

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Really appreciate it. Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

        Like

  7. moonskittles Avatar
    moonskittles

    And how fast we cannot tell ghosts from thin air..
    congrats!

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. moonskittles Avatar
        moonskittles

        ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your friendship, Dajena ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  8. Breathtaking. I have goosebumps on my arms. I nearly didn’t respond in case my words cheapened what I had just read. Spectacular.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Not cheapened-enhanced. Thank you so much for your kind feedback. It means the world.

      Like

  9. moonskittles Avatar
    moonskittles

    It is even sadder with your voice.. one brilliant piece this is!

    Liked by 6 people

  10. Ryan, this really hit me. How deeply moving. I could imagine the scene as I read this. So visual and gripping.
    I can see why this one, is a favourite. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Thank you for the opportunity, Jen. Glad you liked it-always good when nice things evolve from unpleasant ones ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I love it. Yes, things in life happen, all for a reason. ๐Ÿ’—

        Liked by 2 people

  11. Reblogged this on INK AND QUILL and commented:
    It gives me great pleasure to share this poem, by Ryan Stone. Long after reading, I was left in thought. Such power and emotion in these words. Thank you for sharing Ryan.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you so much, Jen ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure hun! โค๏ธ

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Wow Ryan I came back to this page wanted to read this powerful winner poem again and more I found…your nice voice which add more power and feelings it make the poem live! That’s wonderful no wonder why this captured the first place! I see some personal life in it! often when we give our own inner it turn a winner and most of all it happens when we write about sad life events. It was the same for my published poem “Emotions” is part of my personal life events and it got chosen to be published! Congratulations this one is an amazing poem! ๐Ÿ˜‰ โค

    Liked by 6 people

    1. You are so lovely, Carolina. Thank you for brightening my world with your thoughtful comments and congratulations once again on ‘Emotions’ ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you very much!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow! You’re on fire!! Congratulations again, my friend. Enjoy the ride ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      3. LoL…thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Elizabeth Helmich Avatar
    Elizabeth Helmich

    Ryan, I just listened to the audio on this one, so blown away! This adds such depth, and richness to the intensity here. Bravo!

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you, Elizabeth. I don’t think my Aussie accent goes particularly well with poetry…it’s better suited to cheering at football matches, ordering a beer in a crowded bar, etc… You just made my morning ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Elizabeth Helmich Avatar
        Elizabeth Helmich

        Oh, then I guess I should gush on about how I would love to hear it ordering a beer, yelling at crowds, whispering quietly….yes dear, it was truly lovely. Do more. Pretty please. With cherries. Xo

        Liked by 2 people

      2. ๐Ÿ˜€ you’re much too kind. There’s a couple more that have audio links if you really feel the need to torture yourself. Thank you again, Elizabeth.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Elizabeth Helmich Avatar
        Elizabeth Helmich

        Oh, really?!? Are you going to make me hunt them down then? Yes, I totally will. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 2 people

  14. this piece is incredible….amazing writing..i read it a few times and discovered something new each time…
    glad to read it..

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Wow! Thank you for such thoughtful feedback. You just made my night ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  15. […] By the same author:ย Unburied Hatchet […]

    Liked by 4 people

  16. Raw, evocative and powerful! Really struck a deep and resonant chord. Brilliant and relatable state of affairs. Love the audio.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you so much. Your comment has made my day ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  17. nosaintaugustine Avatar
    nosaintaugustine

    “Brittle as chalk” and “How fast the years make ghosts,” wonderful. And the emotional impact of the last line is substantial. Thanks for posting!

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you for reading and leaving such nice feedback ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  18. Wow, this is heavy. I love the physical description of a one-time brawler reduced to a ghost…great analogy! I saw courage in that turned back and that deafening silence. I don’t quite subscribe to the belief that because someone is dying that we are to bend to their wishes. No, if there is to be forgiveness, it will come in your own time…if at all. Haunting final image though…no pun intended. And too, congratulations for your poem winning first place. It is excellent!
    Gayle ~

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Hi, Gayle. Thank you for visiting and for the time you’ve invested in your comments. You’re very insightful and your feedback is so warmly received. Thank you, have a wonderful weekend ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re most welcome, Ryan, and enjoy your weekend as well.

        Liked by 2 people

  19. This is a wonderful piece.. to me it talks about how those words we hurl are always there… if all is wasted I am sure those words would be there as serpents in a desert

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Exactly so. Thank you, Bjorn.

      Like

  20. I adore this one.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Truly appreciated. Thank you for your kindness ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  21. If I remember correctly, this was the first poem of yours I ever read, Ryan. Still does the job, and so much more. I guess that’s the mark of a truly great poem – you can come back to it after a long time and it still moves you in the same way.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. I couldn’t appreciate your comments any more, mate. Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  22. I can relate to this. As Gayle said, forgiveness demanded is further oppression. I’ve been there, am there. It probably took a lot of courage to pen this. Thanks for doing so.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you for such thoughtful understanding. I wish you the best of luck ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  23. This is the kind of scene I can imagine being played out so often for so many people. You capture the bitterness, the regrets and the emptiness so well, and the last thought, of history repeating itself perhaps must haunt so many.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. I had plenty to work with. Thanks for your kind words, Jane ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

      1. My pleasure, Ryan ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  24. Such a raw and honest write, which repeats itself all too often. A brave and cathartic poem. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you for reading, Beverly ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  25. Bone stirring! Those lines really did make me shudder. Wonderful writing!

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you so much, Tanya ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  26. The passage of time can either heal us or not ~ Gritty and haunting write ~ Thanks for sharing Ryan ~

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Thank you, Grace ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  27. This is superb, Ryan.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Thank you, Yagnesh. I’m glad you think so ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  28. sanaarizvi Avatar
    sanaarizvi

    Haunted eyes betray last thoughts
    of a dim path, spiralling down.
    He hopes to make amends.

    You certainly have a way with words! Beautifully haunting!

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Thank you so much ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  29. This is beautiful, as usual.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Too kind! Thank you so much ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  30. The twist at the end revealing the true ghost, is superb. The act of forgiving then is as vital as breath and blood.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. I’m happy you took that from it. Thank you for your kind words ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

    1. Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  31. The honesty of not wanting to be there and the likenings were very good.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you kindly ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  32. Ryan, this is such a powerful piece, the narrator delivers the words quietly and with such grace, which adds to the distance between the two. I ask myself, when exactly does the expectation of love turn to indifference? Amazing work my friend, congratulations on taking first place. ~ Mia

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Very kind of you, dear Mia. Thank you. It was my first major publication and inspired me to continue writing at a time I may well have stopped-the first time I was confident someone other than my mum had found something in my writing ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Ryan, you’re most welcome. I’m glad that you found the inspiration to continue writing, because your work deserves to be shared.

        Liked by 2 people

  33. Wow. I can see why you won. Haunting. Wrenching. Well done.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Very kind, thank you so much. Grateful for your comment and follow ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  34. Wow a lot has already been said about your fantastic poem, and I’ll just add that I especially liked these words, “I turn my back with purpose and hear the silence roar”

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thanks so much, Ivor. Really appreciate it, mate.

      Like

  35. A very touching writing.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you for reading and taking the time to leave such kind words ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  36. This is quite taunting… Super amazing๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Thank you for reading

      Like

  37. This is mind blowing!!โœจโค๏ธ

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Very kind! Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  38. Congratulations! You deserve it! I can’t wait to read what you got coming next!

    Liked by 4 people

  39. intense, and I can see why you won =

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi, Beth! Lovely to see you again. Thanks for your nice comment. I hope youโ€™re well ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. good to see you too –

        Liked by 1 person

  40. Amazing and WoW!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you! Most kind

      Like

  41. I love this.

    Liked by 2 people

  42. This hits hard. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  43. Just got recommended this! Well written! โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks so much for reading ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  44. This is fascinating ๐Ÿ™Œ

    Liked by 3 people

  45. Such powerful imagery so beautifully expressed!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi, Karima. Thank you for reading and taking time to comment. Truly appreciated!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure Ryan…

        Liked by 1 person

  46. Haunting, especially when listening to you read it aloud. Very powerful

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for listening, Beth. Hope my Aussie accent didnโ€™t kill it ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I have an Aussie son in law and grandies, and am quite fond of the accent )

        Liked by 2 people

  47. When there’s, nothing left that we can do, but to, wait for, death, to come, and, claim us as, its, own…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Lovely ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

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