days of stone

The Weight

—

by

Ryan Stone
in

One drunken night, he lay on the coach road
and she lay beside him. He pictured a truck
descending–wobbling around corners,
gaining momentum. They spoke about crushes,

first kisses. He told her of an older woman
who’d stolen a thing he couldn’t replace.
He tried to describe the weight of lost things.
She listened until he stopped,
until I stopped

hiding behind he. I felt small,
watching the cosmos churn
while I lay on the coach road
one summer night,
speaking of big things
and nothing.

Ryan Stone

first published at Algebra of Owls, November 2016

Republished for dVerse poetics – Poems That Could Save Your Life – this friendship saved mine.

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Comments

62 responses to “The Weight”

  1. mandibelle16 Avatar
    mandibelle16

    Powerful poem. Going from “this guy” what he’s lost, to his experiences, until he admits it’s really him, not some guy. She must have been special and great listener, for him to pour his heart out, all his secrets. And what’s between them isn’t said, but perhaps most important of all. I like the words “coach road” Too drunk to care how hard the road is? Great write Ryan.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Hi, Amanda. Perceptive as ever! Yes, she was special in many ways. Love reading your feedback, thank you for going to such an effort 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. mandibelle16 Avatar
        mandibelle16

        It’s no problem Ryan. Writing is fascinating, particularly poetry, and you write excellent stuff 🙂 I love poetry that makes me think.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ryan Stone Avatar
        Ryan Stone

        😀

        Like

  2. ksbeth Avatar
    ksbeth

    ah, at last, he reveals a bit of himself, he must have finally felt safe.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      I guess he must have 😉 Thank you, Beth. I appreciate you taking the time 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  3. YesterdayAfter Avatar
    YesterdayAfter

    Love the twist in your words always unique poems! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Carolina! How are you? Thank you, my friend 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. YesterdayAfter Avatar
        YesterdayAfter

        So nice to see you here Ryan! I am ok busy doing INKTOBER 31 drawings in 31 Days Visit my Gallery ;-)https://yesterdayafter.com/my-doodlewashes/inktober-gallery/

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ryan Stone Avatar
        Ryan Stone

        Wonderful! You are way too talented you know?! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. YesterdayAfter Avatar
        YesterdayAfter

        Thank you so much Ryan!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Ryan Stone Avatar
        Ryan Stone

        🙂

        Like

  4. Miriam Avatar
    Miriam

    Such a powerful poem Ryan that exposed so much. Very poignant.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thank you, Miriam. Greatly appreciated, as always 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Elizabeth Avatar
    Elizabeth

    Love this. It’s so clear and true.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Lovely feedback thank you Elizabeth. I’m glad it came across that way for you. Enjoy your weekend 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  6. Zainab Avatar
    Zainab

    This is breathtaking, Ryan. From the exhilaration of the beginning to the slow poignancy of the ending… You’ve nailed it! I especially love the POV switch in the middle. Perfectly handled and suggests so much. Marvellous.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      How lovely you are, my dear friend. Thank you for such wonderful feedback. I hope you’ve been well 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  7. Minimal Belle Avatar
    Minimal Belle

    I am about to fall asleep and I am so glad I read this poem. The image of the cosmos churning is heady and romantic. Great work, Ryan. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      You’re lovely! Thanks, Louise. Sweet dreams 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  8. Minimal Belle Avatar
    Minimal Belle

    Thank you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  9. kim881 Avatar
    kim881

    I like the shift from ‘he’ to ‘I’ that signifies awareness and understanding, possibly coming to terms with oneself. That’s a great way of expressing a feeling you can’t describe:’He tried to describe the weight of lost things’.
    Your poem left me with mixed emotions, sadness and hope.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thank you, Kim. There’s always hope 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. sarahrussellpoetry Avatar
    sarahrussellpoetry

    Just wonderful, Ryan.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thank you, Sarah 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  11. Beverly Crawford Avatar
    Beverly Crawford

    Great is the relationship when we can reveal our vulnerable selves. It is a great read!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thank you, Beverly 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  12. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    Oh that shift.. from he to I… so abrupt, and in the end all alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Glad you liked it, Bjorn. Thanks for your thoughts.

      Like

      Reply
  13. frankhubeny Avatar
    frankhubeny

    Nothing like a friend lying on the road with you for comfort and maybe reason to get up.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Too true. Thank you, Frank.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  14. ivors20 Avatar
    ivors20

    Liked the words and your style. Clear and clever.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thank you for reading and taking the time to leave such a nice comment – truly appreciated 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  15. Purpleanais Avatar
    Purpleanais

    Such skills ❤
    Hope life is treating you well, Ryan 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Too kind, Nat. Thank you. Life is wonderful thanks. How about you? I hope you’re well. Lovely to see you here 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  16. percolatingpoetry Avatar
    percolatingpoetry

    Sometimes we can only share our most intimate secrets when we are completely comfortable, otherwise, being naked in front of them, physically and emotionally, can be a challenge. I love the subtle way you deal with loss of innocence. Once we lose it, it’s gone. Another brilliant and profound write.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thank you so much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. percolatingpoetry Avatar
        percolatingpoetry

        You are most welcome! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  17. -Eugenia Avatar
    -Eugenia

    At last, he found someone who listened to him and someone he felt he could share his deepest thoughts with. A relief to have the weight lifted off his shoulders and perhaps, a new bond was formed. Thought-provoking and profound piece, Ryan.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      A special friendship indeed. Thanks for your lovely feedback, Eugenia. Best wishes for 2018 🙂

      Like

      Reply
  18. Souldiergirl Avatar
    Souldiergirl

    I love this Ryan

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thanks so much, Kristen. This one is very close to my heart. Glad to hear it struck a chord with you 🙂

      Like

      Reply
      1. Souldiergirl Avatar
        Souldiergirl

        You’re an incredible writer 😊❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ryan Stone Avatar
        Ryan Stone

        Thank you, SG. As are you 🙂

        Like

      3. Souldiergirl Avatar
        Souldiergirl

        Xxx Ryan 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  19. henhouselady Avatar
    henhouselady

    Wonderful poem.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  20. Journey Avatar
    Journey

    Wonderful writing, your words are powerful

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thank you 🙂

      Like

      Reply
      1. Journey Avatar
        Journey

        You’re very welcome!

        Liked by 1 person

  21. The Creative Chic Avatar
    The Creative Chic

    Wonderful word play, love this

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thanks for reading and leaving such nice thoughts 🙂

      Like

      Reply
      1. The Creative Chic Avatar
        The Creative Chic

        My pleasure!

        Liked by 1 person

  22. ivor20 Avatar
    ivor20

    Your final stanza was very relatable Mark …
    “hiding behind he. I felt small,
    watching the cosmos churn
    while I lay on the coach road
    one summer night,
    speaking of big things
    and nothing.”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  23. The Weight — days of stone – Typography

    […] The Weight — days of stone […]

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  24. beth Avatar
    beth

    and suddenly he became me, over time and comfort level

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  25. Amira Elsaid Avatar
    Amira Elsaid

    Intentional!! Love this.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Always. Thank you kindly 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  26. taurusingemini Avatar
    taurusingemini

    Sometimes, it takes, a very long while, until, our traumatized selves feel, safe enough to come out, and, as we grow older, we became, the, protective parents to our own, younger selves, and, we resolve the traumas of our younger years, after, waiting for everything to be, ready to be, dealt, with.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  27. Sunshine Avatar
    Sunshine

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  28. Cendrine Marrouat Avatar
    Cendrine Marrouat

    “He told her of an older woman
    who’d stolen a thing he couldn’t replace.
    He tried to describe the weight of lost things.” – This is just masterful poetry. Wow, it hit me hard!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Ryan Stone Avatar
      Ryan Stone

      Thanks so much, Cendrine. Nothing better than hearing that something I’ve written connects with a reader. Really appreciate your comments 🙂

      Like

      Reply

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