Pitch black,
careening down
a track
in vain
before a dark
freight train
blasts past.
Underneath, peace
at last.
Ryan Stone

Pitch black,
careening down
a track
in vain
before a dark
freight train
blasts past.
Underneath, peace
at last.
Ryan Stone
I have missed your posts for the past couple of days. This is excellent. I love the fact that the three verses have the rythmn of a train and then, whack, the life is snuffed out. It is very powerful. I love it.
It’s so nice to be missed, thank you. Unfortunately my brilliant poetry doesn’t pay enough to support my lifestyle…and employment intrudes on my writing time all too often π
I’m glad you picked up on the train’s rhythm, I was hoping that would come across. Thank you for your lovely feedback, Lexa π
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This hits home for me as I had a cousin, who at thirty, found his tracks in the bottom of a pill bottle. Depression can be all-consuming, often tying us to the proverbial tracks.If we are lucky, we get to hit that switch, and send the train veering into another direction while we untie those ropes that bind us. I can feel the heaviness in this piece. You describe depression so well, my friend.
Whoa! Powerful stuff right there! I’ve been in a deep depression before. Peace at last… That’s all you crave… Peace at last! Brilliant!
Thanks, Al. Gotta love the darkness. Yes, my own brilliant photography…using my iPhone π
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Been there. And there’s that form again. You know, I have written one to this form. I still need to post it though. Haha.
π
Lovely job. π
What a perfect analogy. I can hear the rickety clack of the train and the feeling it leaves in the body even after you’ve already been walking on firm and unshaking ground for quite some time. I have been born with too much happy hormones, so I have not experienced depression, but I have had people around me that have been through the dark tunnels while riding it. I hope you are still writing this from a happy place and full of light π
(((U)))
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Well-said, well-written. And those are narrow gauge train tracks—where are THEY from? π
Hi, Jonathan. Thanks so much π And you know your trains, too. I took this photo a few years ago at Caribbean Gardens in Scoresby (Melbourne, Australia). They had an amazing scenic railway but it has since been removed, I believe. Sad. https://caribbeangardens.com.au
careening is a word i have never heard before. i quite enjoy learning new words especially as a writer. this poem feels light and simple but is beautifully written.
I know what it’s like to sit by the tracks. Should I lay on the tracks or not? Hm. Maybe not. Definitely a dark place.
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